9 Feb 2009

How to Have Fun with Games - Fallout 3: How to hurt friends and not influence people

You know how games are generally tiresome, dull affairs that are more likely to bore you stiff than entertain you? No? Well, regardless, there are ways to enliven your experiences within these 'electronic worlds' that will help pass the time until you thankfully have to wash the dishes or wash your armpits or wash the dog or something.

In particular, you may not realise that there is a way to actually have fun whilst playing your fourth favourite post-apocalyptic RPG of all time - Fallout 3. And that way is... to hurt your friends!

Do you hate the way the characters in this game speak hammy lines like emotionless androids? Then give them a hefty right-hook!

Do you despise the combat engine with all it's stop-start repetition and heads that slide off bodies as if they were held on by wet sellotape? Then punch them in the face!

Laugh as your teacher and classmates tumble to the floor and then get right back up again like nothing happened! Feel your sides split as you incur no consequences at all for beating down your fellow vault-dwellers!

Honestly, after leaving Vault 101, I felt even more disappointment than the usual 'what the fuck have Bethesda done with the Fallout licence?' guff. Where do I go from here? What can possibly excite me more than murdering everyone in my childhood home with my bare fists (apart from the ones that just wouldn't bastard die)?

I'm a man on a mission and that mission is to destroy everyone in this world... with my knuckles. Will I succeed or can I not be bothered to? Only time can tell and, in Fallout 3 - if nothing else - there's a whole load of that.

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